Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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