..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
