would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
