he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I could fuck to npr.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize