i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
