hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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