you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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