Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
