I think my fart just growled at me.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
