At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize