Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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