Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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