I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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