i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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