Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
