We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
