i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
