Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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