# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
