Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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