My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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