I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
