I skipped work to stalk him.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
