i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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