Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
