help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
