I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
