Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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