i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize