My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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