Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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