I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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