he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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