I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
