hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
