Pappa wants mamma naked
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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