Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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