Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
this boner is exhausting
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
