dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
