does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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