i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
