I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
