THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
