What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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