i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You're a waste of cheezeits
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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