The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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