watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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