Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
