I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
