Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
