you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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