I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
