His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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