why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize