So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
