Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You can't special order awesome
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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