i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
