someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
