I'm lost and stupid without you.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
