Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
the liver wants what the liver wants
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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