Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Oh god it's open bar.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
