it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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